A Little Escargot, Please

August 22, 2016

I will never forget my first wrinkle.   It was New Year’s Eve 1975. I was with my first husband and three other couples at some swanky restaurant in San Diego.  We were having a late night dinner   in one of the salon rooms lit with chandeliers and lined with mirrors.   I would be twenty-five  years old in 28 days. That’s one reason it was so memorable.  The other reason is snails.

I will never forget my first wrinkle.

You see, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to open my taste buds  to new culinary experiences.  So that night I decided (because it sounded so grown up and soooo glamorous) to  try escargot.  Stabbed with a tiny fork, luxuriating in a decadent white wine and butter sauce, the little morsel was weirdly chewy and somehow delectable.  I must admit that part of the fascination was imagining how horrified my mother would be to find out what I had eaten.  Because, let’s face it, escargot is snails.

Garden snails.  Snails that are so abundant in  California gardens you could feast on them as your sole source of protein daily and cut your grocery bill  by 30%.  Snails.  Little one legged slimy creatures that ooze along with their eyeballs on stems.  I would no more eat escargot today than pop a grasshopper in my mouth.  Anyhow, there I was enjoying the evening with my friends, slurping snails and a little tipsy from the champagne when I glanced in the mirror and spotted it.

I must admit that part of the fascination was imagining how horrified my mother would be.

IT . . . my first wrinkle. Between my eyes.  I stopped smiling to see if it would go away.  Slightly, but no, not entirely.   I excused myself and went to the ladies room to get a closer look.  There it was.  “Well, this just won’t do,” I told myself.  “Not at all.  I will not get wrinkles.

Who knew that years later (40, to be exact) I would be putting snail slime on my wrinkles?  From slurping snails to smoothing on the phenomenal anti-aging growth factors from snail slime found in the incredible Tensage Line? From their Daily Serum to the highly anticipated Tensage Ampoules for intensive 10 or 14 day therapy, here’s a product worth eating. Er, I mean, applying to the face.

(First published 07/12/13)